FAQ’s

How Can Ninja Perfect Their Skill of Stealth?

1. Don’t emulate 80’s Ninja movies. Ever!
2. Use STEALTH Deodorant
3. Be mindful of the landscape and general environment, especially notice whether it’s broad daylight or not. If it is and you’re in an urban or even semi-urban environment, absolutely under no circumstances should you be wearing a ninja outfit! It would be better to run around in an over-sized squirrel uniform than to be caught wearing the world-renowned outfit of death and assassination. At least then you may have enough kids crowding around you pulling your tail and kicking you in the behind that a conscientious Ninja will hesitate to bring his death blow down upon your furry little head.
   
4. Too much flipping and jumping around, and making weird little grunting noises before you attack is absolutely the dumbest thing you could do. No need to show off to someone you’re about to dispatch and secondly, you’re not Bruce Lee, okay?
   

Which Color Ninja Outfit Should a Neophyte Ninja Buy?

Please refer to #3 of the above FAQ regarding whether to even wear a ninja outfit or not. But, with that considered, here are a few additional factors to assess before choosing your apparel of stealth and disaster (hopefully for the enemy).

Are you from somewhere cold and snowy like Alaska, Russia, Antarctica, or the Arctic Circle or are you pretty sure most of your area of operations will be in areas of heavy snowfall? If you answer in the affirmative, then you may want to consider a white ninja outfit.

Otherwise, you should probably choose black. Why you ask? Because most ninja operate shrouded in darkness and absence of light. As far as I’m concerned if you choose something else you might as well choose Hunter’s Orange, ’cause you’re gonna get caught like a sucka, at least some unsuspecting hunter won’t shoot you. If you will be in some sort of natural environment and a daylight operation is being planned, you should consider some sort of camoflauge. But choosing a red ninja outfit is completely a suicidal mission. I laugh when I see them, such bravado and daring, yet truly they are prophetic in nature because they are wearing the very color they will soon be bleeding due to their stylish, individualistic, idiocy! Reflective metal of any kind is right up there with red! Kiss it goodbye if you don’t want to die!

How Can I Perfect My Ninja Spotting Technique?

1. You have to think like a Ninja. Anticipate where Ninja will be and then focus all your skills of observation upon that location. Of course if Ninja are smart, they know where Ninja-spotters will be looking so they will avoid those areas. If this is the case you should choose secondary options of locations where Ninja might go thinking that others are trying to find them in the most likely locations. These secondary locations however are also likely to be anticipated by the more wise and cunning of Ninja masters. So, one must also consider third options, these locations may seem at first to be less strategic and more obvious, maybe even highly dangerous and “out in the open”, however, if a Ninja is truly what he/she/it claims to be, then you will have to use more than eyesight to find them. You will need to use your intuition of sight beyond sight, peering into their thick dark cloud of utter absence of sight to peel back their shrouded thick wooly blanket of camoflauge.
2. Keep coming back to this site for more Ninja-spotting practice.

Which Movies Do You Recommend Watching For True Ninja Talent?

Absolutely none. Any movie that shows you a ninja has already shown you poor talent. Real Ninja are never seen, they are the unseen. Even if they are seen, truly they are unseen in their seen-ness.

How Did You Become Such An Expert In Ninja Spotting & Basic Ninjitsu Knowledge?

I can’t tell you, it just happened that way. Some are destined for greatness and others are not, thus this blog to help others.

How To Be Invisible While Yet Still Visible (Similar to Bruce Lee’s The Art of Fighting Without Fighting)

Out-think your opponent. What are they looking for, expecting to see, give it to them, but twist it just slightly to throw them off-guard. This sometimes is better than the completely innocuous and beyond-suspicion type camoflauge. Why you ask? Because, true master Ninjas will be looking for the most un-obvious people and places, thus, why not give it to them, but not fully.

An example, if they’re in a carnival on the lookout for assassins, who are the most unlikely to be Ninjas? These are the people most likely to be Ninjas. Carnies! Without question! So, do it! Dress up like a Carnie, but wear an apron like you’re a cook or dress in between a clown and a Carnie, then you’ve just destroyed the Master Ninja’s ability to put you into any one of their nasty categories of destruction. They will hesitate and in that hesitation, you will strike. But, I might emphasize, all non-Ninja and those untrained in Ninja spotting will notice nothing, but an innocent half-Carnie, half cook or clown lunging into the darkness possibly for a pee break or to relieve himself from some really bad tasting Carnival food, I think you get the idea…