The Digital Ninja Finder
I was using my own Digital Ninja Finder the other day and realized I really didn’t want to know the truth…it was almost too startling to retell. Let’s just say there were more Ninja than Non-Ninja when I turned the machine on. Luckily I turned it off just as quickly and got out of there immediately, a few more seconds and the Ninja would have known that I knew and that would have been the last.
This machine actually picks up various low level energy emanations that are found solely among Ninja. Energy levels that in most human beings are non-existent such as a high density energy quotient typically for the criminally insane who are consumed with anger and vengeance, also found among Ninja are low level gas emissions typically due to bowel immobility and constipation, there are also high frequency brain waves that usually denote deception and trickery which like a lie detector test, this machine is able to detect.
This Ninja Finder also is able to pick up light and color frequencies so that it even knows which color uniform the Ninja is wearing. Secondly, there is also a chemical readout based on the use of colored dye. No Ninja, no matter how smart and wise they may be is able to stop these low level readouts from being discovered. The only Ninja able to outsmart this device is one who is wearing a carnie outfit, shark or bear disguise, or who just so happens to not be wearing anything at all, but I believe that would draw some unwanted attention so doubt he would stoop to such embarrassing and detectable tactics, although if he was in a nudist colony targeting some unsuspecting nudist, well, then this device would be rendered inoperable.
One word of warning, use this machine at your own risk. Once you see the unseen, they will know they’ve been seen and will want to preserve their unseeness, meaning that you who have seen they will need to stop, including a star to the head or a poison dart to your throat. So, use this machine with extreme guise and caution, knowing that the truth will indeed be too startling to bear. Your co-worker, the next door neighbor, the carnie at the local carnival, the local boyscout troop, or perhaps even the grizzly bear you stumbled upon while camping out in the forest.
Lastly, all who have used this machine for any length have time have disappeared so we’re still unable to verify if the machine really works, but another way of putting it is, you know the machine works if everyone who has used it has mysteriously vanished into thin air. Maybe you’ll be next!
Yay! Interesting.